Sweet Poison..

For as long as I can remember I have gotten headaches. The first one a clearly recall was when I was 13 years old. I was at the river with my family swimming in the summer time and I had such a bad headache that I couldn't help but cry (and I'm pretty tough). I remember thinking about how often I was getting headaches and how Tylenol and ibuprofen had no affect on them at all. Sometimes I was taking as many as 4-200mg ibuprofen at a time, but nothing would give me any relief from the pain of my headache..

Over the next 5 years I lived with nearly constant headaches, not being able to figure out what caused them. I went to 3 different doctors and all of them gave me the same diagnosis, Since there was no physical signs of something being wrong and all test results came back good - Nothing was wrong with me. However, I knew that couldn't be the case. I knew that my constant headaches were a sign of SOMETHING being wrong. So it was up to me to find out what.

For the next two years I tried all sorts of things to find the "cure" to my headaches. Anything from drinking more water to going gluten free, but nothing seemed to help. Then I learned about HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup) from a few different documentaries such as King Corn and Food Inc. I discovered that this chemical was highly common in today's "modern" processed diet. So I started paying attention to what was IN the foods I was eating and sure enough, I discovered that nearly every food item I was eating from the grocery store had HFCS in it. This got me thinking, this is an unnatural chemical sweetener that my body was not designed to consume and process, was this the cause of my headaches? I immediately started eating foods that did NOT contain HFCS, which left me almost entirely with fresh fruits, vegetables and organic foods. I was surprised at how even a loaf of my favorite deli-fresh French bread had HFCS in it!

After a few weeks of this "clean" diet I noticed my headaches go completely away. Not only that, but I started to lose weight and go down to my lowest weight since I was 15. VICTORY! My life was changed! Right? Not quite.. In addition to not eating foods with HFCS, I had completely cut out sweets like ice cream, candy or pastries. I did this simply as a way to help me avoid HFCS since it is in practically all of today's sweet foods. However, a few months in to eating "clean" I went on a road trip to Dallas, Texas. We drove straight there, 3 days, not even stopping at night and then we did the same on the way back. This trip was a turning point for me, and not in a good way. If you've ever spent 3 days straight on the road, you may know that it is very easy to get caught up in the fast food stops and gas station junk food snacking. I didn't even realize at the time how drastically my life style had just changed..

One year later I found out I was pregnant with my daughter Emma, which meant I needed to go to the doctor. Because my life had been so hectic with a car accident, switching jobs twice and a busy summer I hadn't even noticed that I had gained nearly 50lbs since I had hit my lowest weight one year prior, to the day. (Crazy, Huh?) My pregnancy was perfect with no cravings or complications, I even started to eat healthy again! yet I managed to gain 20lbs by the end of my pregnancy. Since having her I have eaten healthy and cut out sweets again. I go about a week or so with out sweets and then have cookies or ice cream. I have noticed in the last month that when I don't eat sweets I feel good and have absolutely no headaches. But the day after I have sweets I get an extremely painful headache. I'm not sure which causes my headaches, the high amount of sugar or the high levels of HFCS. But either way, sweets will no longer have a place in my life. Now, I'm not saying I wont have a treat now and then, most likely homemade. However, I'm going to do my best to avoid them all together to decrease my pain and improve the quality of my life.


Life is an adventure and I'm excited to see what tomorrow brings!!

BehindThe Mask..

   Wearing makeup is a huge deal to me.. Not because I think I'm ugly, or think I am only pretty with makeup on. But because I LOVE to wear makeup.. I started doing my makeup when I was fourteen. My "popular" friend in middle school came over one day to help me get ready for a coir concert and showed me how to do my makeup. She showed me a few basics: mascara, eye shadow, eyeliner and lip gloss. For some reason it caught my attention more than anything else. I started wearing makeup more regularly and it shortly became a daily process. I don't remember my exact thoughts on why I was wearing makeup at that point. Maybe because I felt like a girl and pretty for once. Maybe because it gave me something to do and take pride in; a hobby of sorts. Or maybe because my "popular" friend did, I wanted to also.. Whatever the reason, it continued for the next 6 years.

   Over the past 6 years I have taught myself many different types of makeup and techniques. Now, I'm no beautician, but I've learned a lot in the past 6 years. A lot of trial and error. Mostly error, Haha. Not only trial and error in styles of makeup (discovering how awesome contouring is and realizing how bad full blue eye shadow lids look are two examples) but also trial and error in products and brands. I now have a collection of my favorite products that I use on a daily basis.

   Recently I went one whole week without any makeup at all. It was very difficult for me. Throughout this week I realized three reasons why I wear makeup. One, It is really the only thing I do regularly besides vital things (showering, sleeping, eating). It is the only hobby or pastime I have at the moment. Two, I love the way I look with makeup. It makes me feel confident, unique and bold (Dark eyes and Bright Red lips). And Three, I like the attention. I love myself. Most people call it vanity but I have spent the last five years learning to love myself and not hate what I see in the mirror. Makeup doesn't make me love myself more, but when I get complements it boosts my self confidence. not just in my looks, but in my talent.


Life is an adventure and I'm excited to see what tomorrow brings!!

Bacoming a Better Me...

   I have tried on and off for the last few years to better myself in many ways.. The biggest one has been my health; eating right, exercising and having healthy habits. I say on and off because I go from being really good about the foods I eat, exercising and taking care of myself to "forgetting" or just straight up being lazy and not caring. I want to work on these more in the future, even more than I have before.
  
   I have always viewed my life as pretty good. Besides the fact that I have dealt with quite a few  tragedies and bad situations, it could be worse; and I am always grateful it isn't. I want to be happier and have my good mood and attitude show through me and lighten up other peoples days! I know that moods can be contagious, even negative ones. I want to be the reason someone smiles today. In order to do that I need to first be happy in my own life. Now, I'm not saying I need to be 100% happy nor may I ever be 100% happy with my life and every situation. But I believe that a lot of your life and how happy you are is based on how you react to your situations. I try to choose to be happy and optimistic about my situations, even crappy ones.

   Honestly, I haven't lately. I can feel and see how being negative towards my situations is causing me stress and difficulty functioning properly on a daily basis.. I am working hard to change my reaction to my situations. But even more so, I am working on having a positive outlook on life. I am starting new hobbies and activities that make me happy and in a good mood as well as being grateful for the little things. It can be hard sometimes to see the good instead of the bad but, I am a work in progress.


Life is an adventure and I'm excited to see what tomorrow brings!!